7 Habits Of Highly Effective People

We all play various roles in our life, a parent, an employee, a son/daughter, brother/sister, a community member, etc. We feel high level of fulfillment when we are effective in all our roles. But what does that mean to be effective? How can we measure effectiveness in our roles? Author Stephen Covey lays out 7 habits we should develop that is at the core of effectiveness in his book - 7 habits of highly effective people. 

He starts the book by introducing a principle on balancing P(Production) and PC(Production Capacity). This principle can be applied to every life scenario and transform our life. This principle teaches us where to focus to be effective. Basically if we want to build something in life (production), identify areas that contributes to that production and invest in it (production capacity). For example if you want to get a better salary in your job, you may want to get better project experience or certifications that adds to your profile and makes you competent in the job market.

7 habits are the production capacity that contributes to become effective in life. To become effective in life is a journey from dependence to independence and eventually to interdependence. First 3 habits will make us to be independent, and remaining 4 habits help us to be interdependent. Let us look into these habits in detail.

Habit 1 - Be Proactive

Proactivity is about understanding that how we respond to our life situations is completely in our control. We should take the initiative to pick the right response rather than being reactive. If you have a rebellious child at home for example, rather than being reactive and getting frustrated, we can apply the P/PC principle here. We should take the initiative to invest time and effort in the relationship in order to make your child disciplined and responsible. Proactivity needs an inside out change. There are essentially two circles we get to focus on - circle of concern and circle of influence. A proactive person will constantly tap into his circle of influence and see ways to expand it. 

Habit 2 - Begin With The End In Mind

Second habit to become independent is to understand the values and principles in our life. These values are those that guide us, give us power, a sense of security and wisdom. The author asks us to start by preparing a personal mission statement. This captures two key things - 

1. Our personal characteristics traits that should define us. 

2. The contributions and achievements we would like to have. 

This is not a one time activity. In fact we need to revisit our mission statement time to time and tweak it according to how our life progresses. We should consider various roles in life and identify mission for each roles. It should then be an ongoing process to keep these values before our life and align our life according to these values.

We need to use our right brain to come up with missions in life. Use our imagination and visualization to look ahead in life and come up with our purpose. Then use affirmation to practice those values in life.  

Habit 3 - Put First Things First

Third and final habit to make us independent is about time/task management. Put first things first is all about getting into a disciplined routine, executing our independent will day in and day out to keep our commitments. But in order to get into a discipline routine, first we need to understand our priorities. This is when habit 2 comes to practice. Do not fall into the trap of setting priorities based on external factors or pressures. Set your priorities based on our values.

Author introduces four quadrants when it comes to setting your priorities, plotted against important tasks vs urgency. The most important quadrant in these four are quadrant II, which has tasks that are not urgent at the moment, but are very important according to our values and personal mission. The key is to schedule these quadrant II priorities, not otherwise. A week is a good timeframe to schedule your priorities. 

We need to identify quadrant II tasks for each of our life roles - parent, spouse, employee, community member, etc. A regular morning routine to review our goals and adjust our schedule will be very effective. Also when we delegate tasks to someone else, it is important to focus on the results, and not so on methods.

Above three habits are foundational to lead an independent life. Now let us look into habits that make us effective in our interpersonal life.

Habit 4 - Think Win Win

Thinking Win/Win is about maturity. Maturity comes in our relationships when we have a higher sense of consideration for the thoughts and feelings of others, but at the same time exhibit courage to express our own convictions and feelings. Thinking win/win also needs an ‘abundance mentality’. Which means it is not about your way or my way, it is about a higher way. It is not about competition, but all about cooperation. This is at the core of interpersonal leadership. 

It is important to understand that we cannot go for win/win in our relationships, unless we feel a deep sense of security internally. A deep sense of security comes when we master the first three habits. When you get into a win/win agreement, it also brings accountability on both sides. 

Habit 5 - Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood

Reading, Writing and Speaking are effective mode of communication. We all have been trained in all these three forms of communicaiton. But there is another key form of communication which usually we neglect, and that is listening.

We talked about maturity in habit 4. In order to bring maturity in our life, it is essential to practice 'empathetic listening'. Sometimes we tend to listen to a person with an intent to reply. We are so eager to put our point across. Empathetic listening is all about listening to a person with an intent to understand. This is the first step towards a win/win solution. 

The author tells in the book that when we seek first to understand a person and put our efforts to do that, we are essentially building an emotional bank account with that person. This is how trust is build overtime. This is completely in our circle of influence. 

Once you put our efforts to understand the person on the other side, then we can lay out our point of views. There is a structure we can follow when we present our ideas or views to others. First focus on credibility, building the trust with others. Second is to focus on getting the alignment with others' feeling. Then only put emphasis on the logical explanation. 

Habit 6 - Synergize

Habit 6 is the by-product that you get when you apply habit 4 and 5. It is all about respecting and acknowledging the differences in our relationships and always seek for a third alternative. Synergy comes in our interpersonal relationships when we have both trust and cooperation at its peak. When either is low, especially the trust, we will end up in defensive communication and produce often win/lose or lose/lose results.

Habit 7 - Sharpen the Saw

The best investment you can do - to invest in yourself. Habit 7 is about renewal. It is about taking time to renew the four dimensions of our nature - physical, spiritual, mental and social/emotional. We need to address these four dimensions regularly and consistently.

Physical - Exercise, Stress Management, Healthy Diet.

Mental - Reading, Writing, Planning, Visualization.

Spiritual - Values, Meditation, Sprituality.

Social/Emotional - Service, Empathy, Synergy.

7 habits of highly effective people is a life changing book for me. Hope it is for you too. Let me know in comments!