Raising a self aware child

The other day when I was about to put my 7 year old son to bed he asked me a question that took me by surprise. He had shown interest to join soccer training classes before Summer but then refused and I wanted to know why. That is when he responded - “What if I am not good enough daddy?“.

I was worried if he was going through any sort of bullying from school and asked some clarifying questions to confirm that. Lot of questions went through my mind at that time. I was trying to find out the reason for his question. Was that response coming from shame? Was he scared that people around will judge him and ridicule him if he try something new? Did he already gone through any ridicule at school? Why can’t a child just have fun and not take the pressure of being good? Where does he/she picks that self-awareness from?

He has always been interested in soccer. It is not that I was pushing him for something he is not interested in. I personally love Soccer as it teaches valuable skillset - team player. I wanted him to understand that it is ok to fail. I wanted him to understand the importance of practice and perseverance. He should know that his dad did not get this life easy, so that he doesn’t take anything for granted.

In short I want him to develop self-awareness. What do I mean by that?

• I want him to understand his strength and weaknesses and most importantly that it is ok not to be good at something.
• I want him to be confident in his skillset, but never be complacent about it. There should be always a growth mindset and he should be willing to put in the hardwork to achieve what he wants to achieve
• He should empathize with people around him and should build patience and self-control.

How can I raise him to be self-aware? As a father I have a big role to play here. It is quite natural for him to go through frustrations, lack of confidence and embarrassment. It is important for me to be patient with him. Following are few ways you can bring self-awareness in your kid.

• Acknowledgement - When your kid does something good, always acknowledge that and appreciate their hardwork. They value how you feel above everyone else.
• Introduce kids to new activities, chores or games that builds creativity. Be with them through the process and ensure they do not give up.
• NEVER label your kids with tags that brings their confidence down and never let anyone does that to them infront of you.
• Journal - Journaling their daily thoughts and emotions is a good way to bring awareness in them! Make sure you read their journal with them once in a while!

Let us raise self-aware kids!